I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
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