Umm I'm too high to move.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
