would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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