We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
