Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
