I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
