I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
