Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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