His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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