I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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