im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
