a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
