I wish I could punch you in the face.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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