smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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