You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
