she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
