Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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