we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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