it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
