she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i think i have herpe
just one?
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
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