next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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