so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
