Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
