dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
