At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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