the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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