he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
