Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
