it wasn't lemon gatorade
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
