I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
