Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
