Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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