did you get engaged???
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
