barbara walters just said penis...
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
