i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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