Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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