well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
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