You work out of a Hotel?
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
