can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
