is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
