I must be too annoying 4 u.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
