honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
