I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
