tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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