the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Green mimosas i think yes
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
