I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I want her autograph on my taint
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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