My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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