Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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