don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
