Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
