I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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