erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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